How do you milk a first time freshened milk’n goat?

I dunno. That is one thing I never educated myself on so this morning was quite the chore. I called Mrs. G and asked her how she did it and the phone went silent. I can't find a lot on the subject so I assumed it is just one of those dirty little chores one must figure out for themselves. <sigh>

Jackie(Chan), our small vivacious oberhasli, has never been the friendliest goat, but agreeable and will let us pet her. She has only been in the stanchion for me to trim her hooves. Well, she kidded one Big Kid and the time has come for her to prove herself and fork over some milk.

I pulled her kid at Junie’s evening milking and let her udder fill aaaaaall night, just for us. Now, I have milked her three times(before this morning) total.

Once on the milking stand, she is a wild bucking bronco. Seriously, it is like she has a tick in her ear or something, she goes crazy. We learned that if one of my sons pinched the tendons on her rear legs, it would render her immobilized. It is rather uncomfortable, though, for a boy to sit for 10 minutes in an awkward position grasping an ornery goats tendons. Not to mention with both hands busy, I can squirt him with milk.

Being the kind and determined mother I am(o.k., stubborn and as bullheaded as the goat), I went out to the barn BENT on milking That Goat myself.

She heard the grain poured into the stanchion and gaily jumped right up there into position. Good goatie <pat, pat>. I locked her head in, sat down and she kicked at me. Then I placed the milk pail down and out came the bucking bronco. Both back hooves kicking two feet in the air and her front feet trying to take swings at me in between. I slapped her once on the hind end, hoping to knock some sense into her, to no avail.

Finally, I hollered at Emma to find me some bailing twine, which she found quickly. Amused, wide-eyed and smiling, this little girl is no sissy. She helped me tie twine from the four legs of the stanchion to the four feet of the goat. Oh Jackie was maaaaaaad alright. Testing her, I poked her side...all four feet came off the ground as she jumped straight in the air, but no kicking. I poked her again(how can one resist?), she jumped again, but her feet couldn't' come with range of the milking pail.

I plopped down next to her snickering, put the pail down and triumphantly milked her out, every drop, just to be ornery myself. She jumped and snorted and did everything her 110lb body could try to hurt me or kick the pail and in the end I won. I WON. We did the happy dance aaaall the way into the house to process her thick yummy milk.

I am going to pull her kid every night now and milk her every morning until she succumbs to the milking. Besides feeling a little out of breath yet and having a few contractions ;) I am on TOP of the world. I conquered a newly freshened first timer milk’n goat.