Farmer Eli

Hello, my name is Elijah and I'ma farmer. Us rednecks can't afford those fancy smancy 4wd farm vehicals so we buy golf carts on Craigslist and put flat beds on the back and call them our farm vehicles.

Hop on with me and my brother Daniel and I'll show you a typical day.

First you check the corn, it is almost dog gone taller than I am!! Man that stuff grows fast.

The secret to assessing yer garden is to taste everything. Yes, even the foliage of the plant itself. It may make you pull a funny face, but you must try it. It will give you a good feel for the health of yer crops.

Then grab your shovel and dig up them weeds. Do everything as unto the Lord, with a smile on yer face and a song in yer heart, just like my Daddy and Mamma teaches me.

Go find them chickens and toss them a little food. Be careful, them critters love little piggies.

Feed the goats some leftover corn leaves that you grabbed, slobbered on and gummed.

Don't worry, the goat isn't a picky eater.

Make a pass or two with the tiller between the blueberries. Always wear ear protection, that is what my Daddy taught me.

If you drool a little in the dirt, no worries. Just look both ways and if Mamma isn't looking swirl it around in the dirt a little, make mud and eat. Use your imagination and enjoy yer meal.





Check on the last of the animals who wanna get in on the fun then...




It's off to work! See ya!



Before long it'll be naptime and you'll be enjoying that much needed rest.